ITS BEEN A WHILE!!!

Hope everyone is doing great!!

I am :)

Will be blogging more soon ...

Just wanted to say

Hi!

as i sit here , i think i should be happy

.. but there is a tear in my eye .

not EYES .. but eye .

my left eye has one sweet tear moving slowly down my face .. & im not sure why . .. well i am sure WHY, but i wish it wasn't. i know ive been excepting to see him, talk to him .. have a laugh of too .. but yet he hasnt came back. this is so rude / weird .. BUT he's GONE forever annd that's what's making y LEFT eye cry

since ive come on home ..

since ive come on home ..

my wishes are silent but true ,

everywhere they will f0ll0w y0u ,

luck is y0urs , wishes are mine ..

i wish y0ur present & future will always shine !

h0pe 2mora will be

amazing

blazing

[&&]

c0l0rful

My top 3

EVAN(addicted2dope.blogspot.com check him out!!!!!) i must say he is the BESTEST cuzzin EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i love u!!!!from the randomm days we find 9 dollars in change to eat at Mickey D's....2 NOT goin 2 skool i love ya!!!!


My FAve/Best Fuckin Friend Forever!!!! This crazy nigga DJB....i'd b lost without him...he def cant b ur bfff but u should def godownlaod his mixtape cuz that shit is BOMB!!!!!!http://www.zshare.net/download/5679335641492bbf/# and u should def b at "CLUB ZAZZ" on May 2nd!!!!!! at The Gam on La Brea and Pico (Across the Street From Roscoe's), 8pm... 18+ Get There Early... WILL SELL OUT!!!! SAVE THE DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DiD i just promote 4 u BFFF???? I think i did lol


And i must save the best for last.........Drum roll plz.....DeAsia "kamilah's bestie"Marks DUHH!!!!! i cant even begin 2 explain where i would b without her!!!!!! jus know she is the shit!!!!!!! and i love her!!!!!



So i def have other friends that r really great but these 3 r the shit......they r better than anything a girl could ever ask for....and i wouldnt trade them for anything in the whole wide world.....I LOVE U GUYS!!!!!

happY

DANCE MAKES ME HAPPY!!!!!

h a p p y

like your best friends showing up at your door with food & yur favorite DVD on a rainy day,

happy.

Grab a pair of ballet slippers and indulge.

i'll get betta

mind is racing ..
feet are pacing ..
heart is breaking ,
& i am to blame .

i did alot of cleaning & clearing out today .
ALOT .
& at the end of the hour ,
ive come to see & understand what i have to do ..
in order to be OKAY with myself .

today my mother walked in on me praying ..
i didnt know she was there ,
i guess she listening in on the WHOLE thing ..
which i never mind neways ,
at the end .. once i got up , wiped my eyes ..

she told me
" i can see you hurting , but whats wrong"

i shook my head & said .. " i got this " .

i guess im back to that good ole

" i can do bad all by myself "

she asked me how things were the last time we spoke....
i had never told her about that day u called and i decided to keep it 100.
i said ,you know how that goes...it was kinda weird .. with a little smile .
she told me " you dont have to pretend with me , i know he meant alot to you , its mommy that your talking to.....
i was still on my knees from praying .. and just told her , " he did , but ill get over it" real nonchalantly.... but i couldnt look her in the face...the tears came and even mommy wept.....u meant the world to me......before the bs, college lies, hoes, bottles of bleach on all my clothes

ALL I COULD SAY IS WHEN DOES IT EVER GET SO BAD THAT YOU TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE??

NOW ALL I KEEP THINKING IS WHAT IF.....i didnt keepit so real???? evan always says stallpplout mayb i shoulda listened to what u had to say instead of goin off and hanging up......im sorry i hung up

mommy basically told me i didnt have to be so hard , all the time .
that its okay to be hurt sometimes and show some emotion, but NOT to let hurt take over me .
& i think thats what made me smile again .
i know that ive been down for the pass few days ...but i'll get betta

up all night .. & the insomnia begins .

sO Today imma blog.....

i never thought my life could past before my eyes, i never thought tears can come before my cries .. but i now know the truth never lies . try to hide myself from the world , im the master of disguise . life isnt always great that's what i failed to realize . true lies my future is my past .


i lost a friend last week...and its been weighing heavy on my heart for days now......buT i dont wanna cry anymore...and i've been sleeping the days away so i dont deal with the reality of the situation... but that really doesnt work either because as soon as i wake up i remember he's gone...so i gotta find a way to cope with it....so today imma blog