.....anD theN KamiLaH Said....

mixed Emotions

2010-05-23T20:39:00.000-07:00

Okay so as of right now im feeling like blah!!!!!!!! i've been feeling down for the last few days because i've been a tad bit on the lonely side! :-( i have been single for a looooong time lol and i know taht this may just sound like me having a legit girl moment but hey its my blog and i need to release so thats what imma do....

im tired of not having someone to cuddle with

im tired of all the niggas i talk to thinking they are entitled to have sex with me

im tired of niggas being wack{wack game, wack clothes, just wack ass lives}

im tired of lying ass niggas

im tired of having to teach grown ass men how to treat a lady

shit im tired of being let down bcuz i have high standards

UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH im tired of being sexually frustrated sheesh!!!!!!!

so if u know a sweet cute tall guy send him my way lololololololololol

and with all this said im headed to bed with my puppy!!!!

MeeK

Te AMO!!!!!!!!

2010-05-19T22:54:00.000-07:00

si lee este yo sólo le quiero al kow que te quiero más que usted jamás puede comprender y yo siempre hago

:-*

:(

2010-05-19T22:52:00.000-07:00

SomeDays im reaLLy happY and other daYs im just Blah!!!!

ToDAY is a BLAHHHHH day!!!!!!!

feel'N vunerable

2010-05-19T22:28:00.000-07:00

my name is irrelevant. im young, free and beautiful ( not through my appearance, through my thoughts & my heart )

that kinda DREAM!

2010-05-19T22:17:00.000-07:00

have you ever had that kind of dream before?

the kind that only makes you happy and hopeful inside that dream, but when you wake up to reality...poof! there goes all your hopefulness, just like that. because you know whatever happened inside that dream won't ever happen in real life.

yes, that kind of a dream.

2010-05-19T21:58:00.000-07:00

so a few days ago i decided i wanted to blog again!!!!!!!!! but i was just waiting for that moment in time when i needed to let it out!!!! and today is that day!!!

last friday night i had ladies night with a few of my closest friends and we laffed danced and drank until we couldnt stand up straight!!!! while under the influence of alchohol one of my best friends told me she might be leaving for the navy soon...what she failed to tell me was that she would b leaving on WED!!!!! wow wed is sooooooo soon!!!!! i wasnt ready to deal with her not being here with me.... i know that the navy is something she wanted to do more than anything but i wasnt aware that her time to go would come so soon...im not sure if im ready to deal with life and all that it brings without having her in my corner....

day i want u to kno that im soooo uber proud of u but i cant help but b sad about the thought of you leaving me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want nothing but the best for u and wish u all the success in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love u lots and u betta show out!!!! ohhh and i'll be at ur graduation in august i promise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MeeK!

2009-11-04T14:36:00.000-08:00

I turned off the light

Hoping I could see my thoughts more clearly

Without the light

I look in the mirror and see me more clearly

I am here in this moment

Realizing Im not who I claim to be

I take pride in knowing my potential

Yet, take no initiative to fulfill all that I am capable of being and doing

God is said to be the Ground Of Being…..

I say He is the Ground Of Doing

Doing what is right…..

Doing what you want

In a respectful, righteous manner

I am currently what I do

And based on those things...

I am not the being I want to be

But I know my potential

Afraid of my potential?

Maybe

Or possibly

It’s afraid of me

And sometimes I say these things just to be poetic

Without believing a thing

A friend once told me, regarding poetry…

“Be as honest as possible”

In that moment

I realized

I couldnt be...

If so,

It wouldnt be me

And this is my first

Transitional piece

from lies to honesty

Honest Poetry .

...................

ITS BEEN A WHILE!!!

2009-11-04T14:30:00.000-08:00

Hope everyone is doing great!!

I am :)

Will be blogging more soon ...

Just wanted to say

Hi!

2009-04-23T21:40:00.000-07:00

as i sit here , i think i should be happy

.. but there is a tear in my eye .

not EYES .. but eye .

my left eye has one sweet tear moving slowly down my face .. & im not sure why . .. well i am sure WHY, but i wish it wasn't. i know ive been excepting to see him, talk to him .. have a laugh of too .. but yet he hasnt came back. this is so rude / weird .. BUT he's GONE forever annd that's what's making y LEFT eye cry

2009-04-23T21:31:00.000-07:00

since ive come on home ..

my wishes are silent but true ,

everywhere they will f0ll0w y0u ,

luck is y0urs , wishes are mine ..

i wish y0ur present & future will always shine !

h0pe 2mora will be

amazing

blazing

[&&]

c0l0rful

My top 3

2009-03-28T20:09:00.000-07:00

EVAN(addicted2dope.blogspot.com check him out!!!!!) i must say he is the BESTEST cuzzin EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i love u!!!!from the randomm days we find 9 dollars in change to eat at Mickey D's....2 NOT goin 2 skool i love ya!!!!

My FAve/Best Fuckin Friend Forever!!!! This crazy nigga DJB....i'd b lost without him...he def cant b ur bfff but u should def godownlaod his mixtape cuz that shit is BOMB!!!!!!http://www.zshare.net/download/5679335641492bbf/# and u should def b at "CLUB ZAZZ" on May 2nd!!!!!! at The Gam on La Brea and Pico (Across the Street From Roscoe's), 8pm... 18+ Get There Early... WILL SELL OUT!!!! SAVE THE DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DiD i just promote 4 u BFFF???? I think i did lol

And i must save the best for last.........Drum roll plz.....DeAsia "kamilah's bestie"Marks DUHH!!!!! i cant even begin 2 explain where i would b without her!!!!!! jus know she is the shit!!!!!!! and i love her!!!!!

So i def have other friends that r really great but these 3 r the shit......they r better than anything a girl could ever ask for....and i wouldnt trade them for anything in the whole wide world.....I LOVE U GUYS!!!!!

happY

2009-03-28T19:59:00.000-07:00

DANCE MAKES ME HAPPY!!!!!

h a p p y

like your best friends showing up at your door with food & yur favorite DVD on a rainy day,

happy.

Grab a pair of ballet slippers and indulge.

i'll get betta

2009-03-28T19:45:00.000-07:00

mind is racing ..
feet are pacing ..
heart is breaking ,
& i am to blame .

i did alot of cleaning & clearing out today .
ALOT .
& at the end of the hour ,
ive come to see & understand what i have to do ..
in order to be OKAY with myself .

today my mother walked in on me praying ..
i didnt know she was there ,
i guess she listening in on the WHOLE thing ..
which i never mind neways ,
at the end .. once i got up , wiped my eyes ..

she told me
" i can see you hurting , but whats wrong"

i shook my head & said .. " i got this " .

i guess im back to that good ole

" i can do bad all by myself "

she asked me how things were the last time we spoke....
i had never told her about that day u called and i decided to keep it 100.
i said ,you know how that goes...it was kinda weird .. with a little smile .
she told me " you dont have to pretend with me , i know he meant alot to you , its mommy that your talking to.....
i was still on my knees from praying .. and just told her , " he did , but ill get over it" real nonchalantly.... but i couldnt look her in the face...the tears came and even mommy wept.....u meant the world to me......before the bs, college lies, hoes, bottles of bleach on all my clothes

ALL I COULD SAY IS WHEN DOES IT EVER GET SO BAD THAT YOU TAKE YOUR OWN LIFE??

NOW ALL I KEEP THINKING IS WHAT IF.....i didnt keepit so real???? evan always says stallpplout mayb i shoulda listened to what u had to say instead of goin off and hanging up......im sorry i hung up

mommy basically told me i didnt have to be so hard , all the time .
that its okay to be hurt sometimes and show some emotion, but NOT to let hurt take over me .
& i think thats what made me smile again .
i know that ive been down for the pass few days ...but i'll get betta

up all night .. & the insomnia begins .

sO Today imma blog.....

2009-03-28T19:31:00.000-07:00

i never thought my life could past before my eyes, i never thought tears can come before my cries .. but i now know the truth never lies . try to hide myself from the world , im the master of disguise . life isnt always great that's what i failed to realize . true lies my future is my past .

i lost a friend last week...and its been weighing heavy on my heart for days now......buT i dont wanna cry anymore...and i've been sleeping the days away so i dont deal with the reality of the situation... but that really doesnt work either because as soon as i wake up i remember he's gone...so i gotta find a way to cope with it....so today imma blog

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-02-04T11:58:00.000-08:00

OkaY sOoooO ToDaY i Must VENT!!!!!

I must first issue this disclaimer...if u read this and u think its about u...Guess what.......it is u DUHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Today is Feb the 17th and before i Blog about my Valentines Day, friends, chicken, or ANYTHING else i have to get sum stuff off my Chest!!!!!!

Okay im sooooo sick of ppl tellin me i mean......IM DEF NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!

im honestly one of the nicest ppl u will ever meet... i love everything and everyone!!!!!!!i truly put everyone before me...ask me for anything and nine times outta 10 u will get it.......

BUT......

i hate stupidity....that means if ur stoopid i hate u!!!!! i hate liars, theives, con artist and any1 else who does stoopid things..... so if im mean to u its ur own damn fault dummy

im not mean im jus real

hehehehe its jus me bein me....KAMILAH

My FriEndS reALLy R The COOLEst PPl I knoe!!!!!!!

2009-02-02T14:49:00.000-08:00

SOOOO Today.....

i Was TaLKin To a REaLLy Good Friend Ov mine anD i INSTANTLY reaLized wow My friends r waaaaaay cooler than everybody else......

I GOt SoMe TaLL friEnDs, short friends, funny friends, eVen Fat friends, Crazy friend, WeiRd Friends...but i must say that at the end of the day i would b lost with out em....

LOL so tO aLL mY friends Stay CooL or else Our friendship is ovA LOL j/K

Heheheheh its jus Me bein Me.....Kamilah

2009-01-31T19:50:00.000-08:00

EvER WanTed FloweRs oN ValenTines Day????

This was My Fave supEr BowL cOmmERciaL HaHaHaHa.......

HeHeHE Its JUsT mE beIn Me.....KAMILAH

weLp HerE iT Goes........

2009-01-28T20:34:00.000-08:00

So ToDaY....

as i sit aT my BesT friends House {Hi DErrIcK} anD taLK sHit 2 My PaL MykE B i decided why not try this Blog thing that seems to be quickly becoming the cool thing amongst my friends. weLp here it gOes... i would just like the worLd tO KnoW That Today JANUARY 29, 2009 I Kamilah Christianne' Marsh ate a Double Cheese Burger.WOWZEERZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now after that you might be thinking what the hell i eat those all the time, but i must let u knoE thAt i HavE beeN a Vegetarian FoR PreTTy MucH aLL mY LiFe....I hAd ChicKen For The FiRsT time When i was In thE 6th GradE and iTs beeN mY FavE fooD evEr since...I love Fried Chicken, BakED Chicken, Chicken poT pIes, OrangE Chicken, McChicken's, Chicken NuGGetS, Chicken Tacos but enuFF about My love FoR chiCkeN...BuT ToDaY i aTe BeeF FoR the 3rd Time and ToDaY it was ToTaLLy VoluntarY...I ordered it like it was the Norm for me anD iT TasTed YUMMY!!!!!!!!I think i Might Try nEW YuMMy ThinGs More OFteN!!!!!! !

HeHeHe Its Jus Me BeIn ME......KaMiLaH